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When someone dies, you can generally find an attorney to help you with the legal concerns and an accountant or financial planner to help you with the financial and tax concerns. But for at least some of the immediate, practical concerns, you are on your own.
There are often medical and financial decisions to be made while someone is dying. Are there documents allowing someone else to make medical or financial decisions when the dying person is too sick to make or articulate such decisions himself or herself?
Most of us live to a relatively old age. But in cases where someone dies young, particularly in traffic accidents, some of the decedent's body might be needed as an anatomical gift. Just as the loved ones are reeling with the news of an unexpected death, they are hit with the delicate question of using the decedent's body organs. Most of us will die in a hospital, attended by a physician. But again, this isn't always the case. If there is any question as to the causes or circumstances of a death, there might be an autopsy or coroner's inquest. However, these cases are the exception rather than the rule.
For every death, decisions have to made regarding a funeral home, mortuary, or cremation society. This is true even in cases where the decedent didn't want any sort of service. Rarely has the decedent left instructions as to what should be done. Decisions need to be made regarding burial or cremation. Some of these decisions might need to be made within a few hours of the death. Once you have chosen a funeral home or mortuary, someone there will generally issue the death certificate, write an obituary, and help you through any other steps which need to be taken. If there is going to be a memorial service, this needs to be planned. Where and when will the service be held and what sort of service will it be?
Many people begin worrying about the legal and financial concerns and are on the phone to an attorney or accountant within a few hours of the death. There is usually no need for such a rush. While there are exceptions, such as cases where the decedent has been involved in an important business deal that is ready to close or has signed a contract to sell real estate but not completed the transaction, in most cases the legal and financial concerns can wait a few weeks. With most deaths, it is probably wiser for the survivors to give themselves time to deal with some of the emotional issues related to the death before moving on to deal with the financial, legal, and tax concerns. However, one issue which should be dealt within a few days, is locating the original will.
What to do with a will, or what to do if there isn’t a will, is dealt with in the section on legal concerns. However, many of the decisions which you will ultimately have to make and which are discussed in later sections of this book depend on whether or not there is a will and what the will might contain.
This section should prove useful as a guide for most of the issues which you will have to face in the first week or so after the death. Obviously, this isn’t an exhaustive list of every possible scenario which everyone might ever face, but it covers the basics. Dealing with grief is beyond the scope of this book, but you might take some comfort from the fact that most people face these concerns at some point and that however complicated the legal, financial, or tax concerns might be, you will probably find them much easier to deal with than the immediate concerns described here.
The first decision that most people have to make when a loved one dies is choosing a funeral home or mortuary. You might think that hospitals, where people die every day, would have some special service to help relatives choose a funeral home or mortuary. However, most hospitals do not. You will most likely have to choose the funeral home or mortuary yourself. If the decedent has already made some sort of funeral, burial, or cremation arrangements, then you should follow these. If not, then you should look through the yellow pages in your local telephone directory and choose a funeral home or mortuary. The terms 'funeral home' and 'mortuary' refer to the same sort of institution. A funeral home (or mortuary) will send someone to come and take the body from the hospital to the funeral home. The funeral home will handle the death certificate and obituary. If the body is to be cremated, it will be done there at the funeral home. If the body is to be buried, the body will be embalmed there at the funeral home. The funeral home will coordinate any funeral or memorial service with the church, synagogue, fraternal order, or veterans group where the service is held. The funeral home will arrange the actual burial or cremation. Normally the funeral home or mortuary will notify the social security administration to discontinue future payments if the decedent was receiving social security. If the decedent was a veteran, the funeral home will usually advise the relatives regarding whether a death benefit is payable and may even complete the paperwork.
The staff at most funeral homes are skilled at dealing with the emotional and practical problems which arise when someone dies. Should there be a service at the funeral home or at church? Should the casket be present or not? If the casket is at the service, should it be open or not? One guide to answering these questions is knowing what the decedent wanted. Did the decedent leave any written instructions regarding a funeral?
If the decedent died far from home and the body needs to be transported to another area, the funeral home will usually handle all of the arrangements to transport the body to a funeral home or mortuary at the other end. However, air costs can be considerable since most airlines charge first class air rates to transport a body.
The prices that funeral homes charge vary widely and depend on whether there is a funeral, burial, or cremation service. Another factor is geography. If you live in a major city, the funeral home will generally cost a lot more.
One alternative to a funeral home or mortuary is a cremation society. These are usually less expensive than a funeral home since the body is cremated immediately after it is taken from the hospital. If you know that the decedent wanted to be cremated, this is one option which you might want to consider.
It is possible that the decedent completed paperwork with a funeral home or cremation society before his or her death. This is sometimes referred to as a “pre-need” arrangement. In this case, the decedent has already completed most of the arrangements for the funeral and burial or cremation. Pre-need arrangements generally involve paying most costs at the time the arrangement is made. This can include the purchase of a plot in a cemetery. Although many funeral homes demand payment at the time the pre-need arrangement is made, some will take a down payment and allow the balance to be paid at the time of the decedent’s death. Costs not included in a pre-need agreement might include the costs of obtaining a death certificate, opening and closing the grave, and preparing the headstone.
Find out if the decedent had a pre-need agreement before you choose a funeral home or mortuary. If you choose a funeral home or mortuary and then later discover that the decedent had a pre-need agreement with a different one, you probably won’t be able to get any sort of a refund.
If you have any reason to believe that you are going to die in the near future, make a pre-need arrangement with a local funeral home, mortuary, or cremation society. Even if you intend to live for many years, you might have strong feelings about the matter and want to make such an arrangement now. If you do, make sure that your loved ones are aware of it. Even if you don’t make a pre-need arrangement, let your loved ones know whether you would prefer a burial or cremation.
If the decedent had a will, you need to find the original copy. This is either the will which has been signed by the decedent and witnesses or a holographic will entirely in the decedent's handwriting. (Laws vary from state to state regarding what constitutes a legally admissible will.) Many of the decisions which you must make and which will be discussed in later sections of this book depend on whether there is a will, and if there is, what is in the will.
The original will must be deposited with the county in which the decedent resided within a limited time after the date of death. (This period varies from state to state, but it might typically be around 30 days.) In those rare instances where someone dies but no one learns of it till later, the original will must be deposited with the county within a specified period based on when a custodian of the will learned of the death. (Again, the specified time varies from state to state.) There generally is no charge for depositing a will with the county. All original wills, whether witnessed or handwritten, should be deposited. Depositing the will usually consists of mailing the original and a copy to the county courthouse. There someone stamps the original to indicate that it has been officially deposited, stamps the copy, and then mails the copy back to you, keeping the original. There is generally no fee for this. Copies of the will might also have to be mailed to other parties such as the executor named in the will.
If there is going to be a probate proceeding, the original will must be deposited with the court in order to start the probate proceeding.
The original will may be held by the attorney who drafted it. Many attorneys and legal firms retain the original will for their clients. Unfortunately, sometimes the client may move away, lose his or her copy of the will, or forget what happened to the original copy.
Many people put the original will in their safe deposit box. In some states, the safe deposit box is sealed at death and cannot be entered until a representative of the state tax department inventories the contents of the box. An appointment may be necessary to have the box inventoried and this might take several weeks.
In many states the safe deposit box is not sealed or inventoried at death. If there is a co-signer on the box, the co-signer may legally enter the box and remove and remove any contents, including the will. But even if you are not a co-signer, if you have the key to the box and a certified copy of the death certificate, you can enter the box to look for the original will. In such cases, a representative of the bank or savings and loan will accompany you to make sure that you take nothing else from the box. If you can't find the key, you can usually have someone from the bank or savings and loan drill the box open. This might cost around $100.
Many times, the original will is retained by the individual at home.
If the original will cannot be found and the decedent had custody of the will before death, there may be the presumption that the will was voluntarily destroyed. In many cases, copies of the will are not valid.
Since this is not a book on estate planning or wills, there isn't space here to discuss the issue of why you should have a will. Let it suffice to say that unless you are very, very poor, you probably need one and moreover, one that is up to date. Let your immediate relatives or friends know where the original copy of the will is so that they can find it easily after your death. You may wish to give a photocopy of the will to the executor and the people who inherit your estate. It also is generally a good idea to have someone as a co-signer on your safe deposit box. This will allow the person to enter the box after your death, whether the box is inventoried or not.
Please click here to return to beginning.These excerpts from What to Do When Someone Dies © 2004 by Milton Berry Scott